


Put You First

by ktbob



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktbob/pseuds/ktbob
Summary: My sweet cinnamon roll's amnesiac boyfriend isn't so amnesiac anymore...





	Put You First

It was the headaches that first tipped him off.

In all the months they’d been together, first as friends, now as lovers, Will had never complained of a headache before. Now, he had one almost every day.

“Not tonight dear, I have a headache,” might be a cliche, but it was proving agonizingly true lately.

Up until a few days ago, they’d been practically unable to keep their hands off each other. Hours spent in bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms, talking softly about nothing and everything while fingers stroked the curve of a jaw or traced the whorl of an ear.

He was so gone on this guy he thought his _earlobes_ were sexy.

But now, Will had moved on to excuses. A headache, or a deadline, or some other reason to run back to his room, his bed, alone.

And when Paul caught his expression when Will thought he wasn’t looking, it was filled with something painfully close to regret.

Swallowing down the bitter taste of heartbreak, Paul knocked on Will’s door. Ignoring the situation wasn’t going to make it go away.

Will opened the door - fully dressed, more’s the pity - and a pained expression flitted across his face. “Hey, Paul,” he said, eyes darting to the side. “I was just going to see Ari, so…”

“It’s back,” Paul said flatly. “Isn’t it?”

“What - what are you talking about? What’s back?”

Paul shook his head. “You’re a terrible liar, Will Horton.” He brushed past the man he’d fallen in love with against his own best judgment and sat down in the chair next to the door. “Your memory. You’ve got it back.”

It wasn’t a question. He already knew.

Will’s shoulders sagged and he looked down. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Paul closed his eyes against the pain that rushed through him. All the mental preparation in the world wasn’t enough to keep it at bay.

When he opened them again, Will had closed the door and was pacing back and forth in the tiny space of his room. “I don’t know what to say,” he finally said.

“You know, no matter what, we’ve always been honest with each other,” Paul reminded him. “I wish you hadn’t kept it from me.”

“I know.” Will sat down on the bed. “It’s just - I feel so awful.”

“I figured.” Paul braced himself to hear the worst of it. How Will finally remembered his great love for Sonny. How the two of them were going to ride off into the sunset with Ari and leave Paul behind, alone, again.

Dammit. This had been his biggest fear from the beginning. 

“I’m so sorry. Paul, you’re a great guy. And you deserve -” Will’s voice trailed off.

_Someone who will put you first._

He still remembered the flutter of delight he’d felt when Will had said those words to him. 

Someone who’d put him first. 

Looking back, he realized that he’d never really had that. Even when he and Sonny had planned to get married, he’d always known in the back of his mind that Will came first in Sonny’s heart. 

And Paul had been willing to live with that, to be in a marriage built for three - Paul, Sonny, and the ghost of the man who’d been between them from the start. 

Because he had thought that was the price of admission. Sonny had loved him, sure, but he’d loved Will slightly more. And when they’d found Will alive, Sonny had walked away without another glance back.

Now it was happening again. Except Will would be leaving him for Sonny.

No matter what the combination, Paul was always the one they left behind.

“So, how long?”

Will looked up, a puzzled frown on his face. “How long?”

Paul waved a hand at him. “How long has your memory been back?”

“Oh.” Will tugged at the hem of his shirt. “It’s not. I mean, not completely. Just some parts. A lot of them, actually. But not all at once.”

“So it wasn’t like this big bolt of lightning from the sky, huh?”

Will stood up and walked a few paces away. “Nope. It’s been more like … really vivid dreams. Dreams I know are real.”

Now Sonny’s dream was coming true. 

And Paul’s dream was dying.

“So these dreams...what do you remember?”

Will clenched his fists and turned away. 

“Will.” Even now, the urge to go to him, to soothe that tension away, to kiss a smile back onto his face, was almost overwhelming. “Tell me.”

Will spun around. “How can you stand being around me? I was horrible to you.”

Paul blinked a couple of times. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I was an asshole!” Will shoved a hand through his hair. “I hid stuff from you. Treated you like dirt. Tried to force you to leave Salem. I blackmailed your mother, for God’s sake!”

“Um.” Paul tried to wrap his brain around this unexpected change of topic. “Yeah, you did.”

“I don’t understand why you even talk to me,” Will said, sitting back down on the mattress. He looked - deflated. Defeated. 

Paul ached for him.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re not the same person you were back then, Will. Neither of us are.” Paul sat down next to him. “I wasn’t the best version of myself that first time around, either.”

“Please. Saint Paul.” The words were said with humor, but they still stung a little. “You weren’t the one cheating on your husband. That was me.”

“Oh, like my moping around after Sonny for weeks on end wasn’t a pain in your ass,” Paul said, stroking a finger across the back of Will’s hand. “I wasn’t an innocent victim.”

Will turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. “I - I don’t like who I was back then,” he confessed.

“You were angry, and confused, and hurt,” Paul said. “You lashed out. It happens.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” Will shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“Well.” Paul tilted his head, waiting until Will looked him in the eye. “You started getting your memory back a couple weeks ago, right?” Will nodded. “Okay. This is all really fresh for you. Like it just happened.”

“It’s all I can think about,” Will confessed.

“For me, though, this happened years ago. A lifetime ago. Was I pissed off when it was happening? Of course. Did I resent you in the moment? Dude. I hated you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Will scooted away from Paul on the bed, trying to put a little distance between them.

Paul gripped Will’s hand tighter. “I wasn’t finished.”

Will just nodded, looking at him closely.

“As I was saying, things were hell between us right before...you know.”

“I died.” 

Damn, that always jolted him when Will casually referred to his death like that. 

“Yeah.” He took a breath, let it out. “But after - I could see the situation from your side. I accepted my part in the whole mess. And I forgave you. I forgave us both.”

“I wish I could forgive myself,” Will said, squeezing Paul’s hand. “God, I was such a dick.”

Paul gave him a haughty look. “Hey, I happen to like dicks.”

As he’d hoped, that startled a laugh out of Will, followed by a long, slow, sweet kiss that curled Paul’s toes. 

Breathless moments later, he braced himself and asked again. “So, do you remember anything else?”

“Well.” Will pursed his lips. “I learned the answer to that question you refused to talk about.”

Paul tilted his head quizzically. 

“The sex between us. It was smokin’ hot.”

Now it was Paul’s turn to laugh, the heat of a blush creeping up his neck. “I, uh, yes. Yes, it was.” _And it’s even better now._

“But you’re not asking about that, are you.” It was a statement, not a question. “You’re asking what I remember about my relationship with Sonny.”

Paul nodded, not trusting his voice. 

“Yes, it’s true. Those memories are coming back, too.” Will scooted back on the bed until he was propped against the backboard. He patted the space next to him, waiting for Paul to join him.

Paul moved up as well. “And?”

Will sighed. “I remember how happy we were when we first got together, when we got married, stuff like that. But I also remember the fights. The bitterness. How I felt like I was suffocating. How I couldn’t do anything right.”

Paul shoved down the little spark of hope that flickered to life in his chest. 

“And I remember how I felt - free, almost, when I was first with you. You didn’t have any expectations. I didn’t disappoint you. You liked me for who I was.” He turned so he was facing Paul, a hand on his thigh. “You like me for who I am.”

“I do,” Paul whispered, the spark of hope surging. 

“I think that’s why I was drawn to you, when I came back to Salem. Some part of me remembered how I felt when we first met. And every moment since then has only proved I made the right decision.” Will smiled, his lips quirking. “I like who I am when I’m with you. And I want to keep being that person.”

“I like that person, too. And I like me when I'm with you,” Paul said. “I think we’re good together.” 

“Well, then.” Will reached for the hem of Paul’s shirt and started inching it upwards. “If I think we’re good together, and you think we’re good together, it would seem reasonable for us to stay together. Right?”

“Makes perfect sense to me,” Paul said, grabbing the back of his shirt and stripping it off as quickly as possible.

“And if you can forgive me for being a jerk, I can work on forgiving myself,” Will added, popping the buttons on his own shirt and shrugging out of it.

“Absolutely.” Paul flicked open the button on Will’s jeans and slid the zipper down. “I think forgiveness is very important.”

Will wriggled out of his jeans and tossed them on the floor. He straddled Paul’s hips and leaned down to kiss him. “I choose you,” he whispered against Paul’s lips. 

Paul sucked in a breath and then kissed him harder, his hands sliding through Will’s hair, down his back, holding him close.

“I choose you, too.” 

As if either of them really had a choice.


End file.
